Taste

I feel you awakening something inside so long dormant
the unfamiliar familiarity of your fire
like a long lost friend
no matter how long separated, still so very welcomed.
It's just a flicker of what could be
my yearning is growing as i continue to seek out
your heart, your will, your love.
Just to be in you love
to rest in your heart
to silence the noise inside
to trust you with it all.
Not to shrink back or be afraid
but to boldly walk where you lead
because you're worthy of all I have to give.
I taste your goodness here.

Wade

There's this man that comes into the coffee shop that I work with nearly everyday. He is a loud and hyper man who always seems to notice if I'm wearing make-up or if I've changed my hair. I started calling him "old man" one day because he didn't have enough for the drink that he ordered so I simply gave him a "senior" discount. Since then, old man it is.

Today, he walked in and ordered his drink. Usually he's talking a hundred miles a minute and has his heart on his sleeve but this time he was quiet. So I looked at him in his eyes and asked, "How are you?" This type of conversation happens roughly a million times a day in my line of work. I ask people "How are you" all the time as they tell me they're tired or casually say "fine" or "good." Usually it doesn't result in anything penetrating. What I've found though is that even the most simple conversation can turn into something incredibly meaningful if you just stop being in a hurry long enough to see the person who is in front of you. I am convinced that our apathy speaks for itself - our body language, our eyes, our tone - all can tell the person you're speaking to that you either do or don't care about their answer to a simple question like "how are you." I heard something in Wades voice today (or rather lack of speech) that told me that things were not ok. When I asked, my question was more communication to him that I cared. Love or care or concern can not easily be feigned because the words or actions will be impotent. True love, care and concern speaks to the heart and somehow seems to lend strength to the receiver.

Contrary to my contact with Wade, I've found at times that I don't care about the answer. I can so easily get caught up in what I'm focused on that I forget to really look at the people around me.

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.- John 8:31-32

If you "hold to" something, you're treating it as being important or even precious. I think of words that someone speaks on their death bed as being words one could "hold to" in their lives. For the words of Christ, to hold to his words will mean that you will release things that are contrary. When we treat God's words as weighty and meaningful so that we put them into practice we are showing that we are his disciples. When our hearts and our actions are reflecting the crap that we're surrounded with, we are showing that we are not.

We too can be among the group of those who hear his words and "believe" yet still fall short in the place of application. He was speaking to those who believed him when he said that if you hold to my teachings. When we merely hear, we may believe. But when we really hold to his words, it will come out in our lives. Then we will know the truth and the truth will set us free.

True freedom comes when we acknowledge Him as the real authority in our lives. He is the Lord. This is something that will be clashed with on every side and must be resolved in the heart of everyone who chooses to follow after Christ. It will be challenged. His word is right and true.

Friendship

Jesus Christ once said (my rough paraphrase) - the greatest love is when you lay your life down for your friend. For some reason this concept has been speaking to me lately as I've considered various friendship relationships that I've seen and had myself.

I have seen many over the years express deep words of commitment and gratitude for someone's friendship - declaring "I call you friend!" only to abandon that person in their time of need. This was not my own experience, however, witnessing such events only cause me to stop and wonder where the breakdown occurs.

If what Jesus said was true (and I'm going to say that it is, cause you know..)then by him laying down his life for us, he was calling everyone who would come to him his "friends." This baffles me. It baffles me because we (people) were the ones who not only weren't friendly to him but we crucified him - we sent him to his death. Still he says you may kill me, you may treat me wrong and insult me but I call you friend. We are called his friends for His glory. He shows his patience and his kindness when he calls us his friends because we don't deserve his affection but he still holds it out to us.

What I've seen in relationships is honestly ridiculously lacking when I consider what Christ calls friendship. Love is patient. It is kind, it does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud or self seeking, it keeps no records of wrong, it always hopes, it always perseveres - that never fails.

It's not always filled with fulfilled expectations and happy feelings. People will fail. It's going to happen. It's a choice to make someone your friend - it's a choice to love someone because sometimes circumstances will scream at you to run the other way.

I'm considering this simply because it maddens me when I hear empty words of commitment and I don't want to live my life like that. I want to be someone who is willing to love beyond the failure or the hurt or the offense.

Sometimes I'm just not sure how. Lord, teach me how.

Post #1

In life there seems to be times when the future is completely uncertain. Times when it seems like every plan has fallen short. I've found myself giving God ultimates; like - I'll do this for you if you do this for me. Then I realize that really, really - I can't give God anything worth anything that he hasn't first given to me. There are no compromises, no ultimatums, that will ever give me a greater thing than what he already has in store for me. I often forget His kindness when the roadblocks and opposition comes. It's his kindness that gives me everything that I NEED for life in Him and that promises to make everything - good and bad - work out for the good. Every trial and hardship becomes an opportunity for him to make me more like him.

My own mind deceives me whenever I think that there's anything better than knowing Him and knowing His presence in my life. That is the very essence of life that can not be replaced by any earthly thing.

"Create in me a clean heart oh God and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10